Our position in the parade has been announced! The Krewe of the Rolling Elvi will appear between Muses’ floats 20 and 21. You can’t miss us! Look for the mushrooming cloud of scooter exhaust and what will sound like a swarm of weed-eaters.
It seems we now have a sponsor of sorts, the donor of these lovely, leopard-print leggings! I am actually thinking they look better with the blue Grinch boots. The leopard-print trim on the other pair is lost and forgotten against the leggings.
Alas, we have but one pair, so Lauren and I will have to fight over them.
As you can see, the packaging very clearly states H.O.T in bright red letters, but after careful inspection, I have to question the heat-retention properties of these leggings.
There is a story behind these: Years ago, our sponsor spotted a skinny, sun-damaged, elderly woman in Salt Lake City, clad in leopard-print leggings, a big sweatshirt, and cats-eye glasses. He claims she was a dead-ringer for me 30 years down the road, and has been patiently awaiting my metamorphosis. Our sponsor, being a very practical kind of guy, has obviously decided to cut his losses on such an outrageous prediction and take advantage of the opportunity our annual parade presents.
And now a word from our generous sponsor, Mark Wilkinson:
“I have long since embraced my inner, trailer-trash redneck. If this garment can likewise assist Marie on her path to trailer-trash enlightenment, well, sho’ ‘nuff, that'd be fine.”
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